Face Forward
by Sombereyes
Summary: It didn't matter what she did, she had to take a step forward. Simply because, and she hated to admit this; if she waited, life would pass her by.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is just a Hinata/Sakura short story. If you aren't into lesbian fiction, you might not want to read this, multi-chaptered, updates daily until completion…really only a few K works in length total.

 **Face Forward  
Chapter 1**

How many times had she stood still,  
unable to move,  
eyes wide with horror?

How many times had she just wished she could take a step forward,  
reach out,  
and change everything with just a few simple words?

How many times, had she failed?

Letting her team,  
her world,  
fall to pieces?

She watched Naruto walk away, and her soul sustained another crack. Another man in her life, gone. Another gamble, and this one was entirely her fault.

Sasuke was gone, too, and Naruto's promise trapped all of them. He said he's bring Sasuke back, but, now that Sakura thought of it, that was asking a lot...it was asking too much, and for the next two years, Naruto would be gone, becoming a better man, and a stronger ninja.

The words she said to both of them fell to ash, because love was such a fickle thing. She couldn't hold onto it anymore. Not even with the best training, not even with the best jonin leader. Not even with all of the resolve in the world. It didn't matter what she did, so she had to take a step forward.

Simply because, and she hated to admit this; if she waited, life would pass her by.

Leave the shadows,  
the failures,  
and sins,  
behind.

She wasn't standing alone, as right by her side a trembling woman with her hands held in prayer waited too. Licking her lips, she forced a smile. "He'll come back, Hinata, he always does."

Forcing the worry away from her face, Hinata swallowed tightly. "I-I have to go train."


	2. Chapter 2

**Face Forward  
Chapter 2**

Training under Tsunade was the best that she could do, really…medical ninjutsu was something that took a lot of work, but if she could accomplish that, she could be an asset. She was sure of that, and if she could gain strength and stand on her own feet too, well, that was all for the better.

Sakura had been training hard, so hard in fact that her back hit the tree weakly, her mind trying to come to terms with the fact that she had, indeed, just been ordered to carefully observe her chakra control, and reserve as much of it as she could.

That was harder than she could easily admit, and storing chakra was no easy task to do constantly, but she'd been trying her best.

She looked at the riverside, where Hinata was busy sparring with her cousin. There was a simple grace to Hinata, every move carefully calculated. It was pretty amazing to watch, and though she was timid by nature, Sakura could admit, the girl had heart.

A lot of it.

She pushed herself up from the grass, carefully getting near the two combatants, watching as Hinata fell to the ground and slid across the grass into the freezing cold water. she surfaced soon after, spluttering the entire time. "Hinata! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Yet the way the girl coughed, Sakura shook her head. Hinata had likely swallowed a great deal of it. "Truly, I'm alright. It's just been a long day."

"Getting longer." Her cousin said from his place, rather relaxed for his nature. "Sakura, take Hinata on seriously."

"What?" Both girls in unison gave him a look, one set of fiery green eyes, and one set of crinkled white found him, shocked by the idea. They didn't normally practice fighting together.

One bandaged arm crossed over the one lacking them. He gave both girls a stern look. "Sakura, you've been training under the Hokage. Hinata, I shouldn't have to tell you the kind of weight your heritage carries…" He shook his head, it seemed obvious to him. "This battle is perhaps most decisive thing either of you could do."

"I don't follow…" Sakura said lamely.

Hinata only nodded politely to her cousin. "I understand. It's a matter of pride." It was no different than coming up against her younger sister. Sakura's power was unlike the gentle fist style used in her family. With one single blow, the pink haired girl could topple a tree…and with enough training, it was possible she'd be able to do so much more. She turned to Sakura. "I wouldn't be opposed, if you would not be."

Sakura bit her lip, Tsunade warned her about fighting before. "I'd have to ask Sensei. I'm not allowed to spar with any of the rookie nine right now."

"I'll ask on your behalf then." The young man said with a nod as he turned to Hinata. "I promised to make you stronger, and I have no doubt that I will see it done."


	3. Chapter 3

**Face Forward  
Chapter 3**

Girls were a pain in the butt, and the only one he really found merit in was Tenten, his own teammate. Ino had some real potential, but it was stunted by her personality. Hinata had the spirit for it, but lacked confidence. Sakura gained freakishly brute strength, but she was not a master of her training just yet, and it was frighteningly clear.

His view was that female ninja by and large, had a role in household endeavors only. They were the providers of strong breeding and progeny, not leaders in times of war and strife. A woman's many medals and mission completions were experience needed to make them strong, and thus encourage personal growth in their offspring. There were always exceptions to the rule, Hanabi, for one came to mind as a worthy clan head in spite of her young age. He felt strongly that one day, he would follow her word as if it was law, because in his mind, it would be...

She would be cold, and even as a child, she was deadly. Further, to heed her words would be a great honor, because of her show of skill...he feared for Hinata, because she had not yet exhibited such potential, even though the possibility was there. She was too kind, too soft, too gentle, and far better exhibited the material of nurturing mother to a possible jonin in the far future. She was the type to marry into and cultivate future power, not carry it fully on her own shoulders.

At least...that was his earliest assumptions of her abilities, they were beginning to change.

In the following days, he noticed Sakura coming to watch Hinata practice, a small bit of awe for his younger cousin wasn't something he particularly identified with. Yet, he saw the display clearly on Sakura's face. As she ran through meditative drills of her own, an interesting event happened. The more he observed her, the more he was sure that he was not wrong. The two of them had an odd synergy, and Hinata was beginning to adopt some of Sakura's reflective poses when Neji least expected it.

It was not the first time he had connected with Hinata's full fist, and the power of the chakra that was there…he was sure that one day, that would become Hinata's own personal technique, but it was by no means inspired by the gentle fist alone.

Emboldened by his newfound discovery, he made an appointment with the Hokage as soon as he was able. He'd made a promise, and he intended to keep it, but standing in front of the Hokage, and seeing her give him a distinctly annoyed look, he wasn't sure what to think. He'd formally made the request, and waited for a response, but when he received none he began to worry. "Was it out of line, to ask that they fight?"

Tsunade tented her hands and gazed at him. "Sakura's ability to control the force of her punch has yet to be determined. Her chakra control is all over the place as well, and you expect me to agree to this?"

He nodded, hands at his sides, bowing deeply. "I request that you do at least consider it."

She shook her head. "Neji," she began sternly, speaking his name. "You're asking the impossible." These rookies were nothing if not annoying, and beyond insistent. Still, she wondered at his reasoning. "She could very easily kill Hinata, even if only by accident. The kind of fighting I'm teaching her is meant to be more than deadly."

"Normally, I would not ask this, but the key rests within the gentle fist technique." He lifted his gaze to her, facing the Hokage head-on in a rare show of defiance, respectful though it was. "Hinata will be forced to fight an opponent that she can't get near simply by standing around. Sakura…she will have to learn to control her chakra, or face the consequences of her own power. I see nothing to lose in this arrangement."

"Except your younger cousin…" Tsunade reminded him. "If it were you looking for a battle with Sakura, I'd see no harm, but Hinata…" Tsunade trailed off with concern. "I'm aware that she is a very timid young girl. She hesitates in combat, occasionally that fact has earned her nearly fatal injuries. One wrong move…"

"She'll be dead in the face of any opponent, if that's the case." The boy replied, not giving an inch. "I promised to make her stronger, I will achieve that in any way possible. In some ways, I have a duty to my clan to do so." Neji concluded simply. "I ask your support in this."

"I will attend." The Hokage said then, even while speaking the words, she regretted them. "You have three days to prepare Hinata for what could easily be a battle for her very life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Face Forward  
Chapter 4**

Hinata trained hard, reaching the point of exhaustion as she fell onto the ground in the afternoon sun. She fought for oxygen, dehydrated and bloodied. She spat a mouth full of the red sticky crimson out, and rinsed her mouth out with water as she tried to catch her breath.

"Sorry I clipped you so hard." Her cousin said as he examined the swelling just under her chin. It was true that he wasn't holding back, but at the same time, he wasn't actually trying to knock her block off either. "Not too bad though…getting better."

"I don't see how…" Defeated and angry, she rinsed her mouth out again and sighed. "I'll never catch up to him at this rate."

Neji thought of this, and who Naruto was training under. "You're not going to be able to catch up to Naruto…not with that…thing…he has…" Neji sighed, he respected Naruto now, and thought highly of the guy, but the fact were facts. "Don't forget the kind of heritage he's got…makes us look like filthy beggars in comparison. What you need to be able to do is support that idiot when he finally loses it…"

"You mean…" Hinata trailed off, squinting as she tried to decipher her cousin's meaning. "But I thought that was under control."

But Sakura who had been standing not too far away came to join them. "When Naruto's seal weakens…" Sakura had seen it happen before. "If he gets mad, Hinata, he grows fangs and claws…we've had a few…erm…close calls."

"How is that even possible…" Hinata asked, feeling weak once more.

"Can I talk to Hinata alone?" Sakura asked.

"We're done for the day." Neji nodded, vacating the area and heading back to his home.

"It's not that he's actually a monster, but, he's not completely human with the monster fox locked inside of him." Sakura dropped to her knee, green chakra emitting from her hand, closing up the cuts, and soothing the angry welts all over Hinata's body. The girl was pushing herself too hard. "It's because of what he is…and because he believes in his friends." Sakura began, knowing full well the kind of pressure Naruto was under. "But, trying to calm him down, that's not an easy thing to do. When his tails come out, he can't separate friend from foe."

"I'll get stronger. I'll make it so he knows." Hinata said, but Sakura shook her head.

"There's no point to try and surpass Naruto." Hinata's worst injury was the welt under her chin, and the cut lip she sported. Sakura ran her thumb along those pout lips, closing the gash. Admittedly, she lingered a little longer than she need to. "You need to find a void he can't fill…do that…it's how you'll help him."

Hinata understood what Sakura was trying to say, but that didn't make the pain hurt less. "What if I don't know what that is?"

"Then, I guess you'll just have to make something up. Everyone's trying to prove themselves, Hinata, even me. If you try to master everything at once, you'll end up nowhere fast. Find what you excel at, hone it, and make into something you alone possess." Sakura shrugged then, a small smile forming. "You're a good ninja, Hinata, so just try to have a little faith in youself."


	5. Chapter 5

**Face Forward  
Chapter 5**

She didn't want to think about it…any of it.

Her skills, or lack thereof, were a troubling matter. Even so, as she berated herself for being a weakling, she realized there was some truth to what she'd been told. Everyone had limits, Hinata had hers too, and testing them to the brink would only take her so far. She had to find new skills, new limits, and reach those too...

It was one of the many things she admired about him…Naruto…

She didn't want to imagine what Naruto was like in the form she knew he had. Deep inside him there was an inhuman beast begging to be set free, itching to do irreparable damage. She was too young to really know the details, since she was only a baby during the events of it. Still, she knew that she didn't want to experience seeing him for what he contained, because like it or not, the blond haired boy was a vessel for something sinister.

Hinata closed her eyes sinking down into the hot bath water, angry at herself, and further, angry at the village for keeping it all hidden for so long. What he went through hadn't been easy, and she knew that first hand, bore witness to it, and his troubles.

It was that admiration that had so driven her to actually become a stronger ninja.

"What am I going to do…" It was less a question and more an admonishment to herself.

"Enjoy the bath, for one." Sakura replied, also reclining back in the water. "Come up with a new game plan for two..." They were alone, thankfully, aside from the ruckus they could hear over on the men's side. "And three, well, I guess get ready to take me on...I won't go easy you know, so I don't want to go easy on me either."

Someone was fighting with someone else, and even though they weren't sure who it was, they didn't care…so long as no one broke any walls down, or windows, this time. Ignoring a large crash, Hinata asked, "Why did you decide to learn medical ninjutsu?"

Sakura looked over at her friend, green eyes hardening in thought. "Because the things I want most tend to put other people in danger. I guess…I don't know. I suppose I just wanted a way to fix that, save lives…keep people together…" Sakura smiled, but it was forced. "It's selfish really, I know, but I felt like, deep down, it was the only way to reach my goal."

"Ah." Hinata nodded, turning her had to gaze up at the ceiling. "That makes sense, I guess."


	6. Chapter 6

**Face Forward  
Chapter 6**

The night was a long one, tossing and turning, she couldn't push away the deep sense of sadness that hit her like a ton of bricks. She couldn't sleep, so she got up and started to pace. At first, it was just in the safety of her room, but then even that became too small for her liking.

The four walls were stifling, but she couldn't say that the walk from one end of her house to the other had been any better. She needed to find her center, her focus, and to clear away the fog that sent her mind awhirl with all of the less than pleasant implications. When a glass of water didn't help, she put on her sandals and began walking the dirt paths of Konoha.

Absently, she nodded to the guards that patrolled the city. They would watch her for a few steps, just as always, showing reverence to her as a mere respect to her clan. The ramen shop was closed now, but she wasn't all that hungry. The river was probably too cold to do any training in right now, not without the warmth of the sun. That left two options, show up the homes of one of her teammates, and keep them up half the night with worry, or go to a place that required no invitation.

It was an easy choice…

Hopping along the rooftops, she reached the home of one of the strongest and most caring women she'd ever known. Stepping inside, she noticed that the night owl, as usual, was curled up with a scroll in front of the fire. Her well practiced hands were inking something onto the parchment.

"There's tea in the kitchen." The crimson eyed woman murmured from her place without getting up. "I'll make up the guest futon if you want to stay over."

"Is…Um…" Hinata took a look towards the back of the apartment.

"Asuma isn't here either. He's on a mission." Kurenai said, already guessing at the timid girl's question. She put down her scroll. "Even if he were here, you know that Asuma doesn't mind."

"I always feel out of place when he's here…like I'm monopolizing your time with him, or something." Hinata admitted even as she went into the kitchen to pour herself a bit of tea.

"You're not the only visitor we receive." Kurenai said with a soft laugh. "This village is like a really big family to us, and I'm not just saying that. To Asuma and I, our genin are almost an extension of ourselves…it's the kind of love that a guardian would feel for their child. It's important that you all count on us the way that you do…"

"Maybe…"

Sensing Hinata's reluctance, Kurenai pat the girl on the head, messing up the young girl's locks of hair. "There comes a time I think, that you stop looking to your parents for guidance. I'd say it's about the time you become a genin."

"Why..." Hinata asked while fixing her short tendrils back into place.

"I think, because we spend so much time cultivating your skills, you learn to become reliant on us. It becomes natural." True, Hinata was the one to stay over most often, especially since things were so difficult at home, but she most certainly wasn't the only one out of the rookies to seek the comfort of their team leader. "Just the other day in fact, Ino and the boys spent the night out in the front room."

"All three of them?" Hinata was surprised, but smiled.

"When you're a team, that's the way it is." Kurenai shrugged. "So, do you want to talk about what's actually keeping you awake? Or would you rather we sit and play cards for a while?"

"Actually…Sakura said something to me...and..." Hinata sighed shyly looking away as her voice got quiet. "I wanted to know the truth about Naruto…the real truth…"

Kurenai bit her lip. She really wasn't supposed to talk about it, but, she refilled the kettle and set it to boil. "So, that's how it is..." Opening the fridge to get some cold cuts and bread to go along with it she forced a small smile. "Well, I suppose you'll have to know sometime…but, it's a long story, Hinata...and after that, I want to know what's actually bothering you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Face Forward  
Chapter 7**

They talked late into the night, a heart-to-heart that was made only for them, because they were both women...but more than that, because their relationship was one that could only be shared by a teacher and student. Kurenai was thoughtful, speaking with purpose, and listening with intent...that was never a sort of attention that Hinata received from anyone else.

Hinata learned about the attack on Konoha that left half of the village in shambles, and, even tiny hints into Sasuke's fallen clan. In return, Hinata confessed her worries for the future, of not being able to catch up to Naruto, fearing to be left behind by all of her classmates.

Kurenai didn't say it outright...but that's why she had been chosen to look after the girl. The Hokage at the time had made the choice for one specific reason alone. She and Asuma, were two of the most nurturing of the Jonin to be paired with young ninja. At barely the age of twelve, the rookie genin needed someone able to be a parent, as well as a team leader. As they got older, they'd receive a sterner hand, but even as Hinata got older, grew into her role, she was emotionally stunted.

All of team eight was...that's why she was their caretaker on missions. Kiba, Shino, and Hinata all needed a slower speed, a gentler push in the right direction.

Hinata woke early the next day. It was a strange thing, sleeping in a home that was not her own, yet, fall to rest she did, with the help of her teacher. Kurenai could soothe her fears in a way no one else could, she was kind, gentle when stern…so unlike the strict upbringing her family had bestowed upon her.

She pattered out of the guest room finding the Kurenai hadn't slept long either, likely, she waited for Asuma to return home.

Hinata spent her time gazing at Kurenai's bookshelf, flitting through old ninjutsu training guides, some more perfunctory than others. She lifted one right after the other, scouring the texts and finding nothing that could help.

"Hinata…" Kurenai said quietly. "Strength comes with time, and allies…remember that."

Grey eyes looked over to where the older woman sat, taking in the words that were so simple to hear, but hard to understand. Acceptance was not something that came easily to the young Hyuga when it became a question of her abilities. "What made you so strong?"

"Hmm…" Kurenai shrugged. "A better question is, what didn't make me strong? You see, this village, Hinata, is a place of refuge for many. You find friends here, make a family, enter a clan…you become strong because of the opportunities forced from youth…those opportunities will shape your future…if you ask me what makes me strong, it won't help you. The answers you find for yourself will be different."

"Then, what can make me stronger?" Hinata asked, her eyes falling to the floor. "What…what does it take?"

Kurenai just laughed. "Give it time, and, don't grow up too fast…"


	8. Chapter 8

**Face Forward  
Chapter 8**

A loud crash sent a tree into splintered pieces, the splinters, large and small clattering to the ground. It was enough of a sound to make Tsunade lift her eyes from the paperwork she'd brought into the forest with her. She was overseeing Sakura's newest training method, but, found the young girl lacking the required skill. After several hours of practicing and meditating, Sakura was trying to use the trees as target dummies, only to end up failing.

"You're frustrated…"

"Damn that Ino," Sakura hollered, punching another tree into bits. "Damn it! Do you know that she called me a second rate shinobi? Stupid pig, I'll show her…"

"Sakura!" The blonde shouted, causing her student to turn and look at her. "You're supposed to be working on controlling the power of your swing, not obliterating everything in your path."

"Maybe I just don't have good enough control of my chakra yet…" Sakura sighed, but she noticed Tsunade shake her head.

"It has nothing to do with that. If anything, that's the one skill you have that makes this type of training optimal." She formed some chakra into her hand, stepping up to a tree she's drilled a hole into earlier. Sending her fist flying, she drilled a second gaping hole right through it, leaving the rest of the tree intact. "This isn't an easy technique, but unless you want to kill innocent bystanders, you need to be able to focus the power directly ahead of you. Watch the flow of your chakra, make sure you have it spinning around your fist in a clockwise, or counter clockwise fashion…it needs to be forming a vortex, or all you'll do is form your swing into a battering ram of sorts."

"I'm not cut out for this…" Sakura sighed, green eyes falling to her gloved hand. "When I take Hinata on, I'll just make sure I don't form a lot of chakra into my swing."

"Do that, and you're going to be letting her down." Tsunade muttered with no small amount of agitation. "Hinata is counting on you to give her a real fight, she training too hard not to…"

"Yeah, but you told me not to swing at other people yet!" Sakura retorted.

Tsunade nodded. "I did, and I still believe that, which is why I will over see this match. I fully expect you'll accidentally harm her more than you mean to her, but if you hold back, what does that say about your faith in her abilities?"

"It means I don't want to hurt her!" Sakura shot back, but the Hokage sighed. "Isn't that good enough?"

"No, Sakura, it's not." The woman said as she turned back to the work she had to get done. "All that it means is that you think Hinata is weak, and, if that's how you feel, why even fight her in the first place?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Face Forward  
Chapter 9**

The stream was a peaceful place to sit and think…but what Sakura hadn't counted on was that Hinata was also sitting there. She seemed to sit there despondently, occupying that open space. Watching the small fish go back and forth along the gentle flow, nipping on the small plants they passed by. The sun was setting, and if they stayed too long, it would be night out soon.

"Something on your mind?" She asked pleasantly, causing the meek girl to jump.

"S-Sakura, sorry, didn't know you were there." Her knees were up by her chin, and she was curled in a small little ball. "Nothing is really on my mind, I just…didn't want to go home."

"Me either." Sakura stretched and took a seat in the grass. "My mother is such a nag, and I don't want to deal with my chores…I was told to rest anyway, since I had to work on my training."

"I took a break from mine." Hinata admitted. "I spent the day with Kurenai-sensei."

"Oh, do anything fun?"

"We talked."

"Oh…" and like that, silence fell between them. Uncomfortable, and thick, they both struggled with what to say or do. As friends they respected each other, as ninja, they were well aware of each other's skills...but, equally, their weaknesses.

They watched the water, but said nothing, and it was only after Hinata lay back to look up at the darkening sky. She wondered who else might be watching the stars, friend and foe combined. Then she found her voice again. "I want to call off the battle...I don't want to fight you...I don't think I can."

"Huh?" Sakura, twisted to look at her, but Hinata's face was hard edged and stony…something that the shy young woman wasn't known for, not usually. "Hinata…are you…"

"I'm going to surpass even you, one day." There was a steel there, soft, but no less honest that Naruto's own conviction…or Sasuke's. Hinata could see it clearly, that hard edge of dreams meeting reality. "I'm going to, because I have too…so if that's the case, I'm okay losing to you right now."

"I don't think they're going to call off the fight that easily." Sakura said as she too lay down to look up at the dark blue that was fading into black. "Tsunade might be okay with it…she, uh…kind of bit my head off today. She asked me if I thought you were weak…"

"What did you say?" Hinata asked.

"See, that's the thing." Sakura sighed. "I didn't say anything."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: The fiction grew in length quite a bit, s I got more confidant with the characters as a whole. To be expected I guess…but as a result of the chapters taking on longer word counts as time goes on (already up to chapter 12 and they're in the 800-1.2k rage) I figured I may not update every day…that being said, this is the last chapter under 500 words in length.

 **Face Forward  
Chapter 10**

"You were thinking it though, weren't you?"

It was such a blunt question that Sakura had to blink, giving the girl beside her a once over. Green eyes trailed over the young Hyuga, studying her form. Hinata was a really sweet girl, and she had terrible self-confidence as it was. Sakura didn't want to say anything to make it worse. She didn't want to be the one to blame for crushing their girl's spirit.

She couldn't hide the truth though. "Hmm, let's just say, I think we both have a long way to go."

"Is that a bad thing?" Hinata asked, but Sakura shook her head.

"No, I don't think so…" She pushed herself back up into a sitting position. "I think, we kind of had to expect it… Hinata, we were really advanced when it came to tests, but fighting…well, that's never been our strong suit. In your case, I think it's because you hold back. You don't take enough risks, or try new things…or, maybe if you do, I guess you just do it quietly...so that no one notices."

She took off her sandals and began to wade around in the cold stream…she liked to do that every now and then. Her toes curled against the smooth rocks, the small fish gathered around her legs, as if they were curious, and as she bent down to gather some of that cold water in her hands, she looked at its reflection of the moon, the light quaking in the wet mirror.

"I'm not like Ino, I don't have what it takes to just toss myself into things headfirst with all I've got. Whenever I try to, I just screw up." Catching another handful, she splashed it over her face. "Even you, Hinata, you know what you want, and you don't deny yourself of that."

"And you do?" Hinata asked, unsure, and just a little confused.

"I deny a lot of things…" Sakura said quietly, another splash of cold water soaking her form. "Team seven, we're good at that. We're not like Team eight, you guys are a strong team when you work together…separately, you all just need more confidence, that's all."

"I…" Hinata blushed and looked away. "You give me too much credit."

"Sometimes, I don't think I give you enough…" Sakura admitted. "Hell, I mean look at the two of us…what are we really afraid of? It's just a sparring match, right? So why now, all of a sudden does it freak me out? If it was Ino, I'd get into the ring in a heartbeat…"

"If it was Ino…" Hinata murmured, realizing that she didn't want to fight many people…and even Ino intimidated her. "I wouldn't want to fight her, either."

"With the way my fists are now, I could really hurt you." Sakura sighed as she stepped out of the water, hair dripping wet where she'd splashed her face a few times. Even her long pink bangs at her sides clung to her neck. "I don't want to hurt you, Hinata. If that comes across as me thinking of you as weak...then, that's my fault."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I hope everyone had a good holiday season, I know I did. I had family come in from out of town, and hence why I've been missing from the FFN for a bit…back now, but not fully yet, as I still have family visiting. Once they go home, I'll be full blast with writing again, but that's why hardly anything has gone up in the past few days.

 **Face Forward  
Chapter 11**

A loud whistle rang out before an agitated voice growled. "Again!"

Sakura and Hinata righted themselves, facing Neji and Tsunade head on. If the girls didn't want to fight each other, they most certainly were not getting let off the hook that easily. They no sooner stood up that a palm to the face knocked Hinata on her butt, and it wasn't soon after that Sakura went spiraling into a nearby berry bush when a rock uplifted her feet.

"Your formation's a mess, Hinata." The Hokage blustered, hands on her hips as she sighed at the girls in question, she gave Neji a sideways glance. "I thought you said you've been working with her."

"I have."

"Maybe, but to what extent?"

"I haven't figured that out…" He looked over to where Sakura was plucking twigs out of her hair. Hinata was already back on her feet, but her legs were uneasy, her balance unstable. "You guys are a mess..."

"Get back into formation, we're going again…" The Hokage ordered, realizing that this was a pointless afternoon. They no sooner took a fighting stance that Tsunade let both girls have it. Her fist slammed into the ground, sending Hinata flying back. Sakura expected it, and caught the girl, making her way up a nearby tree for cover. The two of them huddled in the branches for a short time before even the tree came toppling down, both of the young women clattering along with it. The old blonde looked to Neji. Her many years of wisdom told her all she needed to know. "Working with her, I'll give you that...but it's not good enough."

"Do you have to be so hard?" Sakura asked as she plucked herself from the greenery, helping a spluttering Hinata do the same. "Hinata's not used to people like you flinging the ground everywhere..."

"You should know better than anyone that I'm holding back." Tsunade pulled out a small bamboo flask, tipping back a swing of sake. "Either way, the problem here is easy enough to see. She's not reactionary enough. Proactive shinobi, by nature, are usually the first ones to get hurt. They think too much, react too little. Reactionary shinobi, on the other hand, draw on the heat of the moment…they're reflexive by nature."

Neji nodded, he'd thought the same thing about the girl. "Yeah, but how do you undo that kind of training."

"You don't." Tsunade answered. She knelt down, taking Hinata's bruised face in her hand, scrutinizing the young girl. Partly, she was checking for concussion since she seemed to be dazed, but partly, she was gazing at a young woman who hadn't been pushed hard enough or far enough just yet. "Hang in there, you'll get to where you want to be, eventually…" She said quietly. "Neji, a word, now…"

He followed the Hokage deeper into the forest, where she took another swig of sake.

"She's not going to get stronger, is she?" He asked, but the elderly woman shrugged.

"The skills are all there, she's not half bad." Time was Hinata's greatest asset, and unfortunately, her greatest curse in training. "Both of them have the same basic problems. Lack of confidence, choking up in the middle of a fight, fear of failure…but any capable Shinobi worth their salt knows that failing is the only way to improve. You don't get better by being good…you get better by dragging yourself through hell and back again."

"The Hyuga clan doesn't view things in that capacity." Neji said quietly, his eyes squinting from the news.

"I know, that's why I'm telling you what you need to know to get Hinata into top form." Tsunade explained with a shake of her head. "You want that girl fighting fit? You need to set her up to fail over, and over, and over again. Don't let yourself get frustrated over it. Don't let her have time to feel guilty about it. Failure is part of training, run her into the ground, then make her stand up, and run her into the ground some more."

"Is that how you've been working with Sakura?" Neji asked, almost uncertain.

"It's the only way I teach." Tsunade said quietly, a deeply laced venom there. Anger at the past lilted into her voice. Neji understood it as regret. "Run her so hard you have to bring her to me, I'll put her back together. Then you can break her all over again. The point is, you don't give her time to think, or to be afraid, or whatever else is going on up in that head of hers."

"I'll do whatever I have to." Neji said with a firm nod.

Tsunade just waved him off. "That makes two of us."

…

He did more than run her ragged. He left her bloody, bruised, and unconscious every night the first week. The first night he'd been worried he'd gone too far, but Tsunade had pressured him otherwise. Hinata was sore, tired, hungry, and so emotionally drained that tears pricked at her eyes on the seventh day. On the eighth day, she woke and vomited into a waste paper basket. On the ninth day, she'd devolved into a crying fit, breaking down in the corner of the hospital room.

On the tenth day, she wildly and blindly fought back, pouching on her cousin and tearing into his face with her short but sharp nails...progress the older medical ninja had called it, but he hadn't been sure of that until day fifteen when Hinata began to cool off during their sparring sessions, yet, no less aggressive a fighter. Her training began to click, a ferocity that had always sparked, but had never taken flame, beginning to rise from the embers.

"Sakura, go deal with Hinata…"

"She's back again?"

"Yes, she's back, so go deal with her wounds."

Sakura didn't like the sounds of that. "She's been admitted an awful lot recently."

"And she'll be admitted every other night if she needs to be." Tsunade said without missing a beat. "You need to brush up on medical training anyway, so from now on, Hinata's on your caseload."

"What?" Sakura gave Tsunade a scared look. "You can't be serious."

"All hospital staff have caseloads of patients they see regularly. You'll have your own in due time." She didn't lift her eyes from the folder in front of her, but when she didn't hear Sakura leave, she merely sighed, turning the page and continuing to read. "Hinata's your first. I'm assigning her to you as her general practitioner. It's rare that her condition ever becomes critical. If ever she comes in with something more complicated than you know what to do with, I'll supervise her treatments."

There was no getting out of it, Sakura could tell by the finality of her teacher's tone. Hinata's file sat outside of her room, attached to a clipboard. On it were a list of all recent injuries. A case number sat at the bottom where a full medical report and file rested in a filing cabinet for reverence, if Sakura needed it. She was well acquainted with the clerical part of the job, as that's where she'd started.

She was also very familiar with the usual gambit of first aid.

Taking in a breath to steady herself, she entered the room. Sakura quickly, but thoroughly washed her hands in the sink. Hinata was already awake and sitting up in bed. She pulled a pair of gloves from the shelf nearby and sighed. The nurses had already done all of the preemptory work. "Okay…" Sakura murmured, her voice just a little uneasy. "As of today, I've been assigned as Hinata's primary care physician. If you're okay with that, Hinata, you're going to need to sign this…"

"Wait a second…" Neji said, taking the paperwork from his younger cousin. "We have our own doctor…"

"Yes, that's true." Sakura murmured, wondering if Hinata would, in fact, agree to this. Ultimately, it was Hinata's decision, not Tsunade's. "Because of Hinata's birthright, she has access to the most skilled medical personnel available in Konoha, however that would be Tsunade-sama herself. It was her personal recommendation that I treat Hinata here on out, unless her condition demands otherwise."

"I don't see a problem with it…" Hinata said quietly. "You are training in medical ninjutsu."

"That's the issue I take." Neji shot back. "Training."

Sakura sighed, turning to Hinata. "Once you became a genin, you became accountable for your own personal health, and the records entailing that. Neji is on the list of people you authorize medical staff to talk in front of, but even so, so long as you are conscious and able to make decisions for yourself, I can't really go over the details with him in the room. Not unless you tell me that it's okay to do that. I'll let you guys talk it over amongst yourselves, and I'll be back in a few."

Sakura no sooner exited the room and leaned her head against the wall before her eyes closed and a curse slipped beyond her lips. She was tired, exhausted herself, if she were honest. Although she had been tasked with dangerous missions in the past, those missions had been a team effort. In that room, she had stood alone. No teammates to fall back on, no teacher to look at for guidance if she needed to.

Lives would be put into her hands, and, even though intuitively she knew that, facing Hinata made her choice of specialty even more unnerving. It was a lesson learned far too late, a question not of her capabilities, but of her resolve to follow things through to their conclusion. Those that sought her help would have to be able to trust her, implicitly, with their lives, their health, and to some degree, even their mental wellbeing.

It was, perhaps, on some level, a trust that went deeper than a teammate's ever could.

Sakura wasn't sure if she was ready for that kind of commitment, but, she knew she'd have to push forward to find that out for herself.


	12. Chapter 12

**Face Forward  
Chapter 12**

She heard the boy's voice raise. He was turning into a young man, mature and intimidating. Hinata was so soft-spoken, Sakura would not normally be able to hear her voice from beyond the door, but by her older cousins muffled words, it became clear.

Hinata was actually arguing with him. She was not often the type to do so; he was terrifying when he wasn't in a good mood.

Sakura had thought that many times before, because Neji was the kind of guy to be placid until otherwise provoked. He was a mild mannered yet stern individual, cautious of authority and well aware of his standing in the grand scheme. Far above many in Konoha, and yet, far below the standing he should have. If that is, he had come from any other clan.

When he'd burst through the door, slamming it shut, he did so with an air about him. Calm, decisive, and completely ready to send a swift uppercut to the first person to test his ire any further. "I'll be in the waiting room." His tightly laced voice groused from between his fixated resolve to protect and serve Hinata. This of course meant bowing to her whims, even when he thought better of it. Again, a simple reminder to him of what his standing was.

He would always be lesser than her, and always unable to go against her wishes, even if she was generally demure enough to obey his words instead.

"O-okay. Sure thing." Sakura said weakly before entering the room once more. As was proper protocol, she washed her hands again, and put on a new pair of gloves. "I should probably remind you that I am still in training, although I'm able to treat most typical things on my own."

"It's okay Sakura…" Hinata said quietly, her eyes firmly planted on the white blanket covering her. "I trust you."

Sakura followed Hinata's line of sight, where the papers sat signed and completed. "Right…" Sakura murmured. "Dislocated shoulder was the reason for your visit today. I know the damage was minimal, but is there any other injuries I should know about?"

"Hmm." Hinata made a noise of approval and then gestured to her side. "Here too."

"Do you mind if I take a look?"

Hinata shook her head, lifting up her shirt a little to expose the angry purple blotch starting to form. "I hit the ground pretty hard on my last round, I think I hit a rock or something. I…I don't really remember, it happened so fast."

"A mark of the gentle fist." Sakura laughed, but Hinata shrugged. "I've seen you guys in action, the speed of your palms can be devastating. Shoulder first, that's the most damaged."

"I wouldn't say that the gentle fist is the reason I took such a hard hit, not exactly…" Hinata said quietly as Sakura's warm chakra poured into her sore shoulder, mending worn tissue.

"Put your head down a little." Sakura instructed, positioning the girl with her fingers before starting treatment again. "Anyway, I know what I see, and what I see…well, that's pretty impressive if you ask me."

"You should watch Hanabi." Hinata murmured, flinching when Sakura began to poke at the tender flesh, examining its healing process. "She's good, better than me."

"Okay so your kid sister can throw a few good hits in…" Sakura sighed with a shrug. "Wouldn't be the first time we've been bested by a couple of kids."

"She's better than even that." Hinata said before dropping the issue outright. "So, how does my shoulder look, as bad as it feels?"

"An easy mend, actually." Sakura concluded, taking away the swelling in a short time. "If you've got your bra on, just fling off the shirt so I can get to the bruise easier. I'll use a medical compound on it, but you will have to reapply it every few hours or so."

"Hm." Hinata agreed doing as she was told. The ointment was sticky, and strong smelling…but it was cool to the touch. "So, if I can ask, why the ointment, and not chakra?"

Sakura kept her eyes on her work. "Well, it's best for a body to do mending on its own. Your shoulder is more delicate, easier to permanently damage. This at your side, deep tissue for sure. I could pour chakra into it, but, that's not going to really give it a proper healing. All that does is force the cells to work harder. I'd advise you take a day to fully rest, but knowing your training schedule, that isn't going to happen."

"Probably not…" Hinata said quietly.

"Well, anyway, lay off the food pills." Sakura said then, when she pulled off her gloves and chucked them in the trash. "They're great for missions, or even just training. Highly nutritious, but, they're also full of powered supplements. Things that are naturally weaker due to the state that they're in. Also, food pills are harsh on the digestive track, because they're not really all that high in fiber. Those are things you need to get from real food too, or you'll just make yourself sick. Those nausea bouts of yours…they're probably due to having too many vitamins and minerals at once."

"I haven't been eating well…" Hinata admitted, not in the least because she hated hospital food, so she'd been skipping dinner. She usually slept through breakfast, and lunch was smack dab in the middle of training. She normally skipped that too. "Packaged food mostly, stuff I can eat on the go, maybe I shouldn't be doing that…but…"

"Look, just eat a sandwich or something, maybe some granola, or a few more glasses of milk…." Sakura shrugged then, pulling the chair away from the desk in the corner, taking a seat. "Your body needs actual food, or those pills lose effect and just become empty, worthless calories."

"Okay…"

"Hinata…"

"Hm?"

"You need to rest too, put a load off of your mind." Sakura finally murmured. "Even if it's just talking to someone after training, drinking some tea, read a book…do something to calm down. You deserve that, and we all need it from time to time." Sakura looked down at Hinata's chart, and then back up at the gray eyed girl. "From one Kunoichi to another, though, trust me when I say you're not the only person in a rut. All of us are."

"I know." Hinata said quietly. "I want someone to just…"

Sakura sighed, pulling a tissue out of the box, handing it to the girl. Tears flowed from her for a few moments, and to this Sakura said nothing. It was a few long moments later, once Hinata settled slightly, that the pink haired woman found the words to speak. "You can talk to me, you know…"

"I…" Hinata licked her lips, finding nothing adequate. "…There nothing to say…not really…it…it's just not important."

"Well, I may be new to this whole medical ninja thing, so maybe I'm crossing the line here…but, even so though, as a friend anyway, I don't know if I believe that." Sakura explained as she stood from her chair, knowing the girl would not say anything more. "If you care about something that much that you start crying, no matter what it is, then yeah, it's important. That's how it works…at least, that's how I think about it."


	13. Chapter 13

**Face Forward  
Chapter 13**

She couldn't believe she'd let herself get that emotional. It was a long time coming, she suspected, but even so, it was deplorable. True, it wasn't the first time she'd let herself dissolve into a fit if tears when her emotions ran away from her, but she rarely ever did that in front of others, even less outside of the safety of her own team.

Sakura was easy to talk with though, not like the other girls that Hinata knew.

Hinata knew a lot of them too, they were all just...different. Tenten was brash, and Ino could be harsh. They could both be tender and fun loving too, but Hinata had always been careful around them. She just wasn't sure what she could say to them, so she said nothing at all more often than not. Then there was her sister, Hanabi, she was young and ruthless. There were younger girls she talked with, still in the academy, but she knew them only in passing. The same could be said for the older genin and chunin that she sometimes passed by at the shops.

There were the older women she looked up to, like Kurenai, but the age difference was too far. The kind of talking they had was one of teacher and student, maybe even something boarding on sisterly on occasion, either way...in every way, the much older woman could only be around so much.

Sakura, she was different. She always seemed to just…understand…without any effort on Hinata's part.

She'd always thought so, partially because of the pink haired girl's intellect, but also partly because she was equally timid and soft spoken in their younger years. Sure, Sakura had grown out of it more than Hinata herself had. Even so though, those old common bonds were things Hinata liked to consider. She thought of them more and more as time went on, especially in Naruto's absence.

She missed being able to watch him train.

Still, a new sight before her eyes wasn't so unwelcome either. Just as Sakura watched Hinata struggle against her cousin relentlessly, she had taken to watching Sakura hone her skills against Tsunade. In this, Hinata had come to a distant, yet profound conclusion.

Sakura was strong, but in a way not like the others. It was faith, blind and free, that drove Sakura.

Knowing that only bothered Hinata, who in turn, pushed herself to reach those same limits. She dared and desired to even surpass them. If beating out Naruto was an impossible dream, then so be it. She'd make a new one, forge her own path; make her own power.

Training with Neji became a fierce as ever.

"Strike harder!" She'd heed the order, do as she was told.

"Okay." Yet he blacked her every time.

"Faster," he instructed, "try to push me back. Don't allow me to advance."

"I won't." And yet she would.

Faltering and stumbling forward as she tripped. The best she could do was fling herself out of harm's way and look up blankly at the sky.

"Get up. You can do better."

She would. She promised herself that she would. She swore it to her cousin in her every stance, her mind focused on it during her every breath. That one fleeting victory that she so desperately sought after. To stand back to back with her cousin on equal footing, because that's what she wanted most.

Even after she was beaten down time and time again, even after the only thing left to do was to admit that she'd failed. Even then…

In spite of it all…

She knew she could not break.

"She's not seriously injured, you should carry her home and put her to bed." Hinata heard Sakura say, though her eyes were focused on the colors of fire that painted their way across the sky. Orange, red, pink, and the sunniest of yellow. "A good night's rest would be good for her."

"Are you sure she isn't too hurt?"

"Neji, trust me, she's not hurt." Sakura said softly. "Watch this…"

Hinata, still caught in her daze felt the softs fingers brush away the bangs on her forehead. She blinked once, and Sakura came into view. That smile was too gentle, too easy to become lost in, and shyly, Hinata averted her gaze.

She didn't know why…

It just seemed like the right thing to do.

She pushed herself upright, finding her cousin's concerned frown aimed at her. Those same cold, calculating eyes burning into her, icy fire. "I don't want to go back to the compound." She said then, recalling just what night it was. "Hanabi is probably training really hard right now, and I wouldn't want to interrupt that."

"That's your home too, though." Sakura said, her voice lost.

"For how long though?" Neji asked bitterly. "Anyway, I wouldn't say that so casually. You don't know what it's like."

Standing upright on two uneasy legs, Hinata took a breath. "I'm fine, Sakura said so herself. Let's keep going."

"Is that truly a wise idea?" Neji asked, measuring the girl's words.

Hinata smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "It isn't as if I have a choice. The only way to become strong is the hard way, so that's what I'll do."

"If she says she's fine, then she's fine…" Sakura said quietly, though she didn't particularly agree.

"Fine then." Neji said as they got into position once more. In truth, he was growing tired too, but he didn't dare voice that to her. Instead, he flicked his eyes over to Sakura, who was moving out of harm's way. She nodded to him, and he righted his gazed back to his opponent. "Last go of the night, Hinata, if you want it to last, keep up."

She met his expectation, blocking, but not pressing forward. Sweat burned her eyes, tired as they already were. Every time palms slapped together, she felt the sting, the slide of sink on skin, the thrill of knowing the hands that brushed against hers were those of a highly skilled, well trained ninja. Hands of a man who could kill, if he had to. She wanted to have such strength for herself.

That she could deflect his blows at all, gave her something to think about.

The long grass tickled the edges of her toes. The smell of the river, crisp and clean. All of it served to remind her of why she loved to train here. This one place, where no one else would dare to look, or even think to. Then, her mind traveled to the girl beside the tree, and Hinata felt another blush creep across her face. She wasn't training by herself anymore, and someone else was watching her.

Someone actually noticed her, and all of her effort.

It seemed like such a small victory. When she finally hit the ground hard, she didn't mind.

But, she still didn't want to go home, either.

"Stay with me, then." Sakura said. "I don't mind hosting a good old fashioned sleep over."


	14. Chapter 14

**Face Forward  
Chapter 14**

It was funny, being a ninja. Life changed in the blink of an eye, more often than not.

What did girls their age do during a sleepover? Sakura kind of forgot, and soon they began sharpening kunai and talking about the best way to incapacitate a target. Sakura soon found out that Hinata favored low blows, while Sakura herself tended to attack from high off the ground.

It was a strange discussion for anyone who wasn't trained like they were, but what else could they talk about?

Boys…that seemed…too personal.

Sakura didn't want to talk about them, but, the thing that sprang into her mind, the thing she wanted to know most unnerved her. It was even more personal than gossip could ever be. Even so, she wanted, and needed to know. "Hinata, that day in the hospital, when you started crying. You never finished what you were going to say…"

By the look on the girl's face, it bothered her too. Hinata looked away, her hands focused on the blade. "I was just emotional, it wasn't a big deal."

"I don't really believe you," Sakura put down the knife in her hand. "I feel like we should talk about it. Whatever made you upset won't go away, right, so maybe if we just-"

"There's nothing to say." Hinata blurted quickly, face flushing red.

"Okay, so there's nothing to talk about then." Sakura shrugged then. "But, at least hear me out, okay?"

"Alright." What could be so bad about just listening? Hinata couldn't find a fault there, so she waited. No words came at first, but Sakura's gaze was on her, and it lingered in a pressing sort of way.

"I know what it's like, thinking that nothing you ever do will ever turn out right. It sucks feeling that way." Sakura curled her knees to her chest then, resting her chin there, huddled in comfortable little ball. "And, I also know what it's like, caring about somebody, knowing that they won't even turn to notice you. That hurts, too. No matter what though, the thing that hurts the most is holding back when you want to do something. Especially when you know, you might not get another chance."

"Hmm…" Hinata nodded. "You're right about that."

"I don't want to give up on Sasuke, so part of me won't…but…" She sighed, knowing her skittishness wasn't going to get her anywhere. "That's only fair, since you don't want to give up on Naruto either."

"I-I'm not sure I understand." Hinata said slowly.

"He's going to be gone a long time." Sakura murmured, her hands reaching out to Hinata's own. "I guess, what I'm trying to say is…you don't have to wait alone. We can wait for the people we care about, together."

"Yeah?"

Sakura smiled at that timid little question, hope in grey eyes just like the stars outside. She echoed the words as a statement. "Yeah."

"Sakura…"

"Mm?"

"I'm cold."

But it wasn't cold in the room. Still, she scooted closer, pulling Hinata into a hug, feeling the girl start shaking. She could feel wetness on her shoulder, and guess at the silent sobs. Loneliness was a cold feeling, and maybe in that sense, Hinata was freezing. How many nights had Hinata cried alone? How many more would the girl endure in her lifetime?

Sakura, who wanted many things in her life, never wanted to experience such a deep sadness ever again. Reaching up onto the bed, she yanked down the blankets to cover both of them, as if it would hide the fact that the two of them were huddled on the floor in an awkward hug. They fell asleep like that, holding onto each other. As if that was the only warmth they'd ever be afforded, too afraid to let go, in case it somehow disappeared.

The next day, birds woke them up just as the sun was starting to rise.

How much sleep did they actually get? Three hours, four? Sakura squinted at the clock. "Maybe five…if we're lucky." She said to herself, seeing that Hinata was still pressed up against her. The feeling was a pleasant one, her thin black shirt and pants that she kept under the coat and sweatpants looked good on her. It hugged her frame, flattering her curves. It was hard to remember that Hinata was actually filling out, she had hips and she wasn't flat chested either.

All of her modesty was hiding her from the world, and Sakura wasn't entirely sure that she was okay with that.

Before she knew it, her fingers were running into those short strands of hair atop Hinata's head. Hinata woke with a startled squeak, trying to disentangle herself when Sakura held her close. "Hey, don't freak out on me now!" Sakura said with a bit of surprise.

"Isn't this…kind of…" Hinata tried to think of a better way to say what came to mind, but nothing seemed to fit. "Um…weird…to you?"

"Kind of, I guess, but who's going to see?" Sakura shrugged, she didn't think about it too deeply. Instead, she went back to playing with Hinata's short tresses. "You know, you'd probably look really pretty if you grew your hair out."

"Maybe, but wouldn't it just get in the way?" Hinata asked sleepily.

"A lot of people have long hair." Sakura shrugged. "It doesn't get in their way…though, I suppose it did get in mine. That's why I keep it so short now."

"Sakura?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you like being this way with me?"

Sakura rested there quietly for a moment, she wasn't sure. It was new to her, a novelty, and she really, really didn't want to think about it. "I don't think we should think about this too hard…" Sakura sighed. "That kind of thing, it just makes things difficult, and, to be honest… I'm… I'm not really sure."

"I'm not either." Hinata admitted honestly.

"Then, let's just be unsure for a while." Sakura finally decided. "There's no harm in that, right?"

The girl in her arms nodded. "Right."


	15. Chapter 15

**Face Forward  
Chapter 15**

That was how it started, that little moment of insecurity.

It spiraled from there. One sleepover a week became two or three, innocent little murmurs became full on discussions, and holding hands became common place. Kisses on the cheek, those were okay too. It was just between friends, or so they kept saying. Both of them liked to think it was the case, that what they were doing wasn't anything more than friendship.

Maybe…deeper than friendship, but not by much.

But, the seasons changed.

And they grew older, their bodies transforming from young girls into very young, but very beautiful women.

The hand holding stopped looking so innocent then, they stopped so that people wouldn't stare. The sleepovers, the talks, everything became much deeper than either of them really knew what to do with. Hugs, somewhere along the line progressed into full blown make-outs. Neither one of them knew who started it first, but, it hadn't only been one…and neither one of them asked to stop. It became comfortably routine, dependable, and it felt right.

It actually felt right...

In their lives, that alone was perhaps the greatest novelty.

Then, the seasons changed again, and Hinata was somehow taller than Sakura. Her hair was longer, her hips wider, her self-confidence deeper. Sakura, she was different too. So was their relationship. It wasn't so innocent, they'd begin to notice each other, sly little glances in the bathhouse lingering longer than they should have. Hands would sometimes slip to places that were before off limits. A tantalizingly exposed belly, a bare thigh, neither one had the courage to go beyond that.

They weren't lovers, they were waiting for the people they loved.

They'd both say that time and time again.

They'd both agreed.

The chunin exams came and went, gifting them both promotions.

Fast-forward to the end of two years, and Hinata wasn't quite so timid anymore. She wasn't as naive either. She was sixteen, with all of the hormones, confusion and emotion that haphazardly came along with it. It started to get complicated then, because she knew, she had to ask questions...ones she wasn't sure she wanted answers for.

What was she to Sakura? Better yet, what was Sakura to her?

She still hadn't figured that out, because every kiss was too damn good to forget about. And yet, they still talked about their futures. They still clung onto the faint hope that the men they loved, would love them even just a little bit in return.

That was the conversation that seemed to loom over every topic.

Did they love each other? – Yes  
Did they love the boys more? - Probably.  
Did they want to go further with each other? – Yes.  
Did they need to wait for the boys? – Maybe.  
Did they need to wait for marriage? – That was the right thing to do.  
Did they need to cut this off now? – Yes.  
Would they? – No.

No, they wouldn't. They couldn't. Round and round they went, hiding from the world, keeping up a perfectly faceted ruse, until one day, they couldn't hide anymore. Hinata's heart practically jumped in her throat, lodging itself there to the point that she began to hyperventilate. She didn't want anyone else, no matter who it was, to know.

In spite of that wish, Kurenai caught them. Had seen with her own two eyes that Hinata and Sakura had been kissing in a little spot that only the jonin happened to know about.

Not that it particularly bothered Kurenai, not really anyway. It would be a problem though, if some other people found out. She'd have to do damage control. She couldn't very well have Hinata crying in the middle of the forest, it would attract too much attention. With some fast work and a few seals, Kurenai had dragged both of the girls into her apartment, and there they had sat, waiting for tea to boil.

Hinata looked so lost, and Sakura…

She looked…worried, and angry. So, so angry, as if she had to protect Hinata from the entire world, even in the safety of the apartment.

Kurenai didn't know what to think.

She poured tea, and settled down in front of them. It was time to handle this with the same heartfelt determination as she faced with every other complication to come up in Hinata's life…and, if her father ever found out about this, it would be far more than complicated.

"So then, you two are an item now, huh?" The older woman asked pleasantly.

Hinata blushed and averted her eyes to the table. Sakura just sat there, not used to having the red eyed woman speak to her at length. "Hinata," and with the call of her name, the girl lifted her gaze. "I'm not going to say anything to your father. You don't have to be afraid of me. I kind of wish you'd told me you were seeing someone but…"

"W-we're not…" Hinata said, and again her eyes fell to the floor. "Dating. We're not."

"Oh, my mistake then." Kurenai said, smirking. She didn't believe it for an instant. She knew Hinata too well, and the way she pushed her fingers together, that was a dead giveaway. "Either way, I'd keep that sort of thing indoors for a little while longer. Your father would be upset if you began seeing someone without his consent. Honestly, I'm surprised Kiba hasn't caught scent of you yet, considering how often you train with him."

"We're careful." Sakura murmured, realizing that the woman wasn't going to bludgeon them within an inch of their lives. Under the table away from view, her hand rested on Hinata's knee. Was it to steady her friend, or to steady herself? "We've always been careful."

Sakura wasn't sure.

"Not careful enough if I happened to catch you." Still, she smiled as she said this, and lifted her tea to her lips. "So if you aren't dating…experimental phase?"

"Sensei!" Hinata begged, completely mortified.

"Okay, okay Hinata, just breathe." The crimson eyes woman gave Sakura a critical eye. "More importantly, does anyone else know?"

"We aren't exactly sure." Sakura murmured. "My parents might, kind of…um…suspect something." When Kurenai gave her a question look, Sakura finally caved. "Hinata spends the night…a lot…and well, we kind of just use the same bed. They don't ask, but…"

"I see. I'm not surprised. Accusing a Hyuga of dating anyone outside of the clan is a pretty steep offense." Kurenai allowed. "What if they were wrong, after all? I doubt they'd broach the topic unless they had some pretty concrete evidence."

"We aren't dating," Sakura said then, "we're just..."

"Figuring it out." Kurenai supplied then. "Let's just leave it at that…I suppose to avoid being questioned, you've smoke screened the situation by going off into the woods whenever you two…" Seeing Hinata flinch again, she rolled her eyes and amended her statement, avoiding the phrase 'make out' for her student's sake. "Do whatever it is that you do."

"That would be correct." Sakura said quietly.

"How long have you been at this, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Um…" Hinata looked up from her place. "Maybe two years…"

"Two…years?" That made the jonin take pause, she felt a sudden twinge of a headache coming on. Very softly, so as not to rattle the two young women in front of her, she posed a question. "Did you plan to ever say anything?"

"No, because we're not gay!" Hinata finally blurted, so upset that she finally lost it. "We're not!" She said standing to pace around the room frantically. "We're not. We're just waiting for the boys to come home." And in an instant, Sakura was holding her, hugging her. Clenching her eyes shut, Hinata broke down. She was lying to herself, because like it or not, she was in love with Sakura.

No matter what that labeled her, it wasn't acceptable to the Hyuga clan.

"My dad's going to kill me." Hinata sobbed.

"He's not going to kill you." Sakura said, holding up all of Hinata's weight in her powerful hold. She scooped Hinata up bridal style, and carried her back over to the sofa. "He doesn't have to know. He doesn't have to find out."

"He'll find out…he always finds things out…"

"He won't!" Sakura insisted.

Kurenai shook her head. Leave it to her to get invested in her student, and leave it to the innocent one, to play the most dangerous games. "Damn right he won't."

"Sensei?"

Student and teacher met eye to eye. "The pompous bastard, we'd never hear the end of it." Even as she said this, she found herself at a loss. "Knowing him, he's blame me for this. It's just the sort of scandal he'd love to take directly to the Hokage, not that she would do anything but laugh in his face. Either way, you see the problem here."

What was she to do, after all?

With Naruto, Hinata stood a fighting chance. Likely, her father would have been livid even so, but Naruto was at the very least a man, able to provide for the clan. He could produce heirs, even if they were dirty heirs not pure in bloodline. Sakura wasn't a Hyuga, she wasn't a male, and she didn't have a prestigious bloodline to back her up. They couldn't hide this forever, and one day, far future or not, Hinata's father would find out.

Kurenai only hoped that it was after Hinata came of age.

Coming to a decision that was sure to get her into trouble if she was ever found out, she snapped her fingers. "You girls are staying here tonight, and every night you insist being together. The spare room is free, Hinata, I told you that before. That's not suddenly going to change…just…be careful." She shot Sakura a knowing glance. "More careful than you've been."

"How is that going to cover us?" Sakura asked.

"Because at least that makes sense for training sake." Pinching the bridge of her nose, she finally sighed. "Further, even if you tell no one else, talk to your teammates. Both of you. This…all of this hiding, it's not healthy. There's strength in numbers, and you need that. You most of all, Hinata, and we both know why."

"My team isn't here…" Sakura murmured.

Kurenai sent Sakura a very firm, almost motherly glare. "I meant Ino and Choji, and perhaps Shikamaru too. You have allies, Sakura, use them."


	16. Chapter 16

**Face Forward  
Chapter 16**

The night had been sleepless. Terribly so. They tossed and turned, flipped back and forth, sometimes facing each other, sometimes back to back. It was a long night, made longer by the dribbling sky that kept the morning sun away.

It was on that disgustingly wet morning that Hinata looked down at her breakfast with a bored expression. She poked at her eggs with her knife, watching the yellow yolk spill along the plate before being absorbed by a corner of bread. Across from her, those tried and true eyes, red and knowing, watched her like a mother hen.

Not that Hinata was surprised, she had earned such concern from her teacher countless times before.

"When I first met Asuma, I thought he was too simple minded." Kurenai said, her words simple, if not distant. "If he wasn't finding some way to get into trouble, as boys tend to do, he was trying to bite off more than he could chew. Asuma, even back then, was the restless sort." She paused, wondering how best to convey her meaning. "It didn't keep me from chasing after him though. Watching him from afar, or even just cursing to myself every time he did something unquestionably dangerous."

Hinata lifted her gaze to those red eyes. "You still do."

"When he's around to hear me," Kurenai agreed, "maybe I do."

"Even when he can't." Hinata replied back, her voice quiet. "They're gone now, aren't they? You still curse every time you pass by the window."

"The two of us, we are very alike." Of this, Kurenai had always been sure. "When we care for someone a great deal, we go to great lengths to protect them, even from themselves. I had always assumed that your fixation would remain on Naruto, just as mine remains on Asuma."

Hinata shrugged, saying nothing at first as she began to eat her meal, but she was hardly even hungry. Eventually, she just couldn't keep up the act. "I love Naruto…but…"

She wasn't in love with him anymore…the love she had, was no longer the romantic sort.

The older woman easily understood. "Hinata, we're shinobi, it doesn't get easier, only harder." In that, she wished Hinata the best of luck, and the best happiness that could ever be afforded. "I won't ask you to explain your feelings, but, I will ask you to be careful. Between you and me though, it doesn't mean she'll be any less hardheaded. She's part of team seven's squad, you don't get paired there without being a pistol."

"W-why would you say something like that?"

"Because I know Kakashi, and I know how academy assignments work." Kurenai laughed, resting her hands on the table. "They always pick the right person, for the right job. He was a handful, and so is his team. You'll have to work on you assertiveness if you want to keep up. Which leads me to my next point, make sure she eats breakfast. She's been cooped up over that book of hers for hours."

"It's a medical text." Hinata explained without delay. That, at least, was an easy thing to talk about. "She'll study like that until she wears herself out."

She didn't really know how to be assertive unless she absolutely had to be, it wasn't in her nature to just take control on a whim.

Then again, Hinata wasn't many things, but, she was in love with Sakura.

She didn't want to admit that to herself, or anyone else. God help her, she was.

Sakura was too much of everything she wanted in someone else. She was a lot like Naruto too, in small ways, which made the boy's absence easier to bear. In ways that Sakura contrasted Naruto, Hinata found herself very grateful. It didn't matter that Sakura was a woman, even if that was one of the most glaring contrasts of them all. Even in that way, the puzzle pieces fit together in Hinata's mind in a way that nothing else had.

It was the way they kissed – soft and sweet.  
The way they trained – both together, and separate.  
The way talked – without restraint.  
The way life passed them by – making old flames dim.

Hinata had started to fall out of love with Naruto a long time ago. She was sure that if he'd been around, that if she'd spent as much time with him as she did with Sakura, that love would have never died. In truth, some part of it never would. It was just that, her love for Sakura was deeper now. Unavoidably and undeniably so.

It came to the forefront of her mind, it existed in her daily life, and it was the thing that kept her going when nothing else could. Her love for Sakura had become her reality, her moment to moment infatuation, her reason for a great many choices.

She didn't want to admit it, say the words, and tie Sakura down. The pink haired girl would stay, would put her own love for Sasuke aside, if only Hinata asked her to do that. Hinata didn't dare ask that though. She would, however, pry Sakura from her studying, even if it was the last thing Hinata ever did. The day had slipped away from them, and she realized just how right her teacher had been.

A little bit of blunt honesty couldn't hurt, could it?

"If you don't cut that out, you're going to pass out over that book."

"The price of training, it's all theory."

"Sakura…"

"Another hour, that's it. I promise."

"You've been at it all day. It's nearly eleven at night, you're due into the hospital at eight tomorrow to observe." Hinata said, her voice a harsh whisper as she closed the textbook in front of Sakura and moved it off to the side of the bed. "You'll overdue it."

"Are you okay now?" Sakura's words caused Hinata to flinch. "Hinata?"

"No…" Hinata shook her head. "No I am not okay. What part of this is okay?"

"I think it's pretty cool that Kurenai lets you crash out over here." The bed was small, as she leaned back, Hinata immediately coming to rest at Sakura's side. They'd been laying in each other's arms like this so much that it was a second nature. "She must really look out for you."

"Doesn't Kakashi for you?" Hinata asked. "He's always around, I see you talk to him."

"He's gotten me out of some fine messes." Sakura agreed, "I don't go over to his house though."

"When I was assigned onto team eight, my father and I, we had a falling out. For a little while, I stayed here. Ever since then, this room has always just...sort of been mine." It wasn't only hers though, she knew. It was everyone's. Everyone that needed a place to be came here. "Kiba used to stay here too sometimes, and I know that all of team Asuma comes and goes."

"Oh," Sakura nodded, "I can see that."

"Sakura?"

Assertive….

She had to be.

"Yeah, Hinata?"

And like that, Hinata was using her palms to press herself up, looming over Sakura. "I don't…I mean I….if you…." Hinata bit down on her tongue.

"Tell me what's wrong, Hinata." Sakura murmured, lifting a hand to the girl's cheek. "I'll never know if you don't tell me."

"I don't want you to wait for Sasuke!" Hinata blurted so quickly, she shocked even herself as she buried her face into the crook of Sakura's neck. "Don't wait for him…anymore."


	17. Chapter 17

**Face Forward  
Chapter 17**

It wasn't exactly an unreasonable request, but it was strange, and it was so unlike Hinata.

So unlike what Sakura expected to hear, at any rate. The plea didn't stop there, it was only the start of the flood, sad and searching. For as strong as Hinata could be, and she was far stronger than before, there lacked a very distinctive cord of self-reliance with everything she did.

"I want to be able to be able to tell the others." She sobbed, praying Sakura understood her plight. "I want to be able to look them in the eyes and say everything we've held back, and I want to be able to do that honestly. So, forget him. Please, forget him. Please...just...please..."

Sakura's powerful grip found Hinata in the safety of an embrace. That had always been the answer for everything. That all too soothing hug, the balm to ease the ache.

Warmth where there was none.  
Murmurs where silence dwelled.  
Dreams spoken as if they were reality.  
Reality cast aside as if it were a nightmare.

Maybe, in some ways, the request was unfair, but, they'd both been unreasonable from the start. It wasn't fair to either of them, they'd admitted to loving someone else. Of course that would change. Hinata, who had upheaved everything she knew to become the person she was today, had also upturned her feelings for the boy she used to admire with every waking breath.

As mind boggling as it was, Sakura understood.

Yet, knowing was not enough. "I can't." Sakura said with a heavy heart. It was the truth. It hurt to say it, felt like thorns the entire time, as it dragged out of her throat. "I just can't do that. I've put too much at risk."

Hinata nodded. "I know." It didn't ease the ache any less.

Like that, they were quiet again, neither one of them moving. The feeling was mutual, if either one of them budged even an inch in that moment, it would be over.

Neither one of them wanted it to be over.

Black leather gloves crinkled as Sakura gripped Hinata's shirt. Sakura wasn't sure how many pounds of force was in her grip, but it grew stronger and stronger, until she was sure it would crush bone in any other circumstance.

Hinata wept, Sakura felt powerless.

She wasn't going to lie. She couldn't lie.

"Damn it." Sakura sighed when her own eyes began to sting. That's when she knew she'd already lost herself. Had given her love to the woman whose tears rained down to dampen her red vest. It didn't take very much effort to flip the girl onto her back. In fact, Sakura's incredibly slow movements were out a sense that she might actually break the girl on top of her.

She seemed so delicate.

"Hinata…what about Naruto?" Sakura asked. "You've worked so hard, too hard, to be noticed by him. You can't tell me it means nothing to you. You can't really meant it."

Grey eyes opened, blurry, and wet. What about Naruto indeed? Hinata pressed her lips together, trying so hard to find words for those emotions. "Naruto is important. He is a good person."

Those words, lacking the same sort of conviction that they used to, fell into the empty air as heavily as everything else seemed to that night. Even if neither one of them wanted to admit it, they were still locked in an embrace. Sakura, in spite of her protestations, had yet to release the busty woman from her hold.

"What part of you even thinks this is going to work?" Sakura shook her head, there was no way that it could. "You're the eldest, and whether or not your father truly accepts you doesn't matter. You have a clan that depends on you. He's not going to be around forever, Hinata, and we've both seen how succession can change."

"That won't happen, I'll be the one to take the cursed seal." Hinata, body shaking in a way she couldn't describe, gripped the sheets. "When Hanabi comes of age and produces an heir, I'll take the cursed seal on my forehead."

"What, why?"

"Because it's what I want."

"Just because you want it, doesn't mean they'll let you have it."

"It comes down to capabilities. Hanabi will always, _always_ be better suited to leading the Hyuga clan than me. I've shamed my family before with that realization. I will shame them again, because I am too kind."

"How can you say that? You've been training so hard."

"That's a fact." Hinata rubbed at her eyes. "It doesn't change."

"You mean unless something happens to Hanabi."

Sakura's cheek burned before she even knew what hit her, and although it didn't really hurt, she was stunned.

"That, Sakura, was out of line." Hinata murmured, even though deep down she already felt the pangs of regret. She looked down at the glow of her palm, the chakra that flowed there. "She's my little sister, moreover, she is the next head of my clan. Please…don't ask me to test those loyalties, because I will follow through with them every time."

"I'm sorry." Sakura said quietly, unused to having the pressure of a chakra point blocked on her face. The blockage itself was not a new feeling, she'd had then during training. She had gotten one in the arm, a few in her legs, and plenty in her wrist or hand, but never once had she felt the slight sting that would linger now. Resting upon her cheek.

"My life isn't with my clan, Sakura." Hinata's voice was just too quiet for comfort, too uneased and incensed by the implication that anything could happen to her younger sister. "No matter if it was with you, or Naruto, my future would never belong there. Neither one of you are Hyuga. The cursed seal that my cousin hates would become my freedom, don't you understand?"

…she didn't.

Sakura couldn't fathom the words coming out of Hinata's mouth, because Sakura's family was strictly that. A very large, extended, insane family…but a family none the less. To say they called themselves a clan was the same as calling a pond an ocean. Most of her relatives were civilians, and for her, there was no question of succession. Anything her parents achieved would rightfully, and unquestionably, go to her.

How could a person such as herself understand what it was like to be a cadged bird?


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Long time, no update, but back to it now. Let's get this story back underway.

 **Face Forward  
Chapter 18**

Droplets, soft as misty rain. A scowl, as deadly as sin itself. Lastly, a fist of purple fire, flying through the air at great speed.

It splintered the tree in front of her, and although she should feel pride, all she felt was anger at herself. Even hate, that baser emotion that pissed her off. One so complicated she didn't even know where it began or ended. This was an ability that Hinata had trained for, effort poured into her very soul when even her body gave out on her. She wanted this power, this strength, to stand shoulder to shoulder with Naruto.

That had been her original goal, but now that the tree sat splintered in front of her, she realized it's wasn't his fist she so emulated.

It wasn't Neij's palm, either.

When she turned around, Sakura wasn't there. She hadn't come to their spot in a while, and the river was as cold as ever. The small fish following the current as the path of least resistance. The fire pit had begun to grow weeds, the sticks they used had dulled by sitting in the patches of sand.

This was a lonely place to be.

She wanted more, needed more. She wished she could go back to the days she used to so deeply enjoy. Back when she could see that pink haired woman resting in the shade. Failing that, she wanted to hear the thunderous crash of Sakura's fist hitting the ground in the distance, a sign that Sakura was also training.

An excuse, that's what Hinata wanted.

At this rate, she wouldn't even have that. Covered in sweat, her knuckles bloody from the force of her swing, those grey eyes of her activated. Seeing the unseen. She looked like a monster, felt like one, and could do no more than curse her failures. "What am I doing wrong?" It was a desperate question. "Why does this hurt so much?"

Kurenai sighed. "It's because you're in love."

"It doesn't matter what I am." Hinata murmured, turning to her old teacher. "It's inconvenient all the same, and Sakura's right. Deep down, I know she is."

"Is it because she's right? Or is it because that's what you both want to believe?" Kurenai didn't want to sugar coat the matter, but her worries lingered. "I'll be honest. Logically, it would be easier to be with a man. There would be fewer questions, fewer sideways glances from passersby. The only problem is, love isn't logical. You can't always put a price on feelings."

"But what if it isn't love?" Hinata asked. "What if it's just…" It was foolish even as she thought of it. "Infatuation…or what if I…"

That was a good question, if it had been anyone other than Hinata. Kurenai wasn't going to ask about that little detail, but since Hinata had brought it up. "Are the two of you sexually active?"

"N-No!" Hinata couldn't even believe that she'd been asked such a ludicrous question. "Of course not…"

Stepping forward slowly so as not to startle the young woman. "Do you want to be?" Kurenai asked gently.

Hinata only looked away, a deep blush on her cheeks. She had thought about it, more than a few times. Eyes closing, biting her lower lip, and pulling it between her teeth….fingers curling into fists…did she want that with Sakura? Yes. Very much so. She wanted more than to kiss her, more than what they shared behind closed doors, and those fractured desires couldn't find purchase in the air...

...because Hinata didn't want to say it.

She couldn't. Doing that would be the final straw in admitting that she actually did love Sakura. That the pink haired woman had done the impossible, she had taken Naruto's place. "Don't ask me that."

"There's no shame in saying it." Kurenai told her, trying to be as meaningful as she could about the situation. "That's not wrong Hinata."

"It feels like it is." Hinata murmured.

"Romantic love cultivates those desires." Kurenai assured. "When you love someone, it's normal…even expected."

"It feels like I'm turning my back on everything I thought I knew." Hinata couldn't take it. She couldn't accept it. "I'm sure Sakura feels the same."

"She just might." Kurenai could agree with that. They were both young after all, and the heart was a tricky thing. "The thing you have to keep in mind, is that absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder."

Hinata looked to her teacher questioningly. She had no idea what that was supposed to mean. "What do you mean?"

"You haven't seen Naruto in over two years, Hinata." Her teacher explained. "He's a young man now."

"And I'm a young woman." Hinata said. Wasn't that the way things were supposed to go? She had always thought so.

"Well, that's just it. You are young." Kurenai softly heeded, trying to find the right words. "Another two years from now, your lives will be vastly different all over again. Who's to say what will happen in that time."

"I don't know…but…" Well, that _was_ the question, now wasn't it? But what? What was her point in all of this? Denial? Fear? Inadequacy? What? What was it that held her back now? She had never been in the habit of denying her feelings in the past. She hated doing it then, and she hated it now. "I've always been aiming for this one particular goal, and I don't think that I should just let that go. I know…I know Sakura feels the same way."

"You and Sakura are used to adapting together. You've grown into the relationship you two have now. It didn't just happen overnight, and in the long run, that's a hard thing to forget." Kurenai was positive of that. "Maybe as you get older you'll grow out of love with her, but for now Hinata, try to live in this moment. Live for the love you know you have now, because you don't know how long that will last."

"But…what if she doesn't want that?" Hinata asked. "It seems like…she just…"

"I don't know, Hinata." Kurenai said quietly. "You'll have to find that out for yourself."

…

It might as well have been divine retribution when Naruto walked through the streets of Konoha, greeting everyone as he usually did. He was the same old Naruto, with the same old patterns and routine. Sakura was quick to notice that that Hinata was very much not the same as before.

In fact, she didn't hover around in the forest, or the training camps. She didn't go looking for Naruto, and she didn't leave her home much anymore either. Hinata wasn't even answering the callers that came to her door for visits.

She was for all intents a recluse, and try as though Kurenai might, Hinata wouldn't even permit her old sensei entry into her rooms anymore. Hinata wouldn't go to the apartment either.

Sakura felt torn between her feelings, and they felt like they were choking her. They might as well have been. "I don't get why you're here. You aren't even my teacher."

"I'm here because that girl is like a daughter to me. I can't even comfort her anymore. That hurts more than I can even say." Asuma was away on a mission now too, and she was alone. Kurenai didn't like being left to her lonesome. She knew that Hinata didn't either. "This isn't fair to her, Sakura. Either make a clean break of it, or go to her now…she needs you."

"It's Naruto's job." Sakura looked up at her ceiling, blank and empty.

"He doesn't even know the truth." Kurenai was beginning to understand Sakura little by little. "Hinata might love him, in some way…but it's you that she wants more than anything." Sakura's motivations, her fears, even her reasons for clinging to Sasuke. The girl wasn't holding onto a mere boy anymore. It wasn't infatuation anymore. It was an ideal.

A reasoning that they could go back to the way things used to be.

That team seven would be made once more with old members, and that Sakura could go back to living a normal, boy-crazy life. That life was gone. That future was a pipedream never to see fruition. Sakura looked like shit, as if she was in the same state as Hinata.

"Yeah, well what do you know?" Sakura snipped.

"Maybe I don't understand all of it. I'm certainly not attracted to other women. I can't claim to understand all of what you're both feeling right now, but I do know this." She said, arms crossed, her voice cool, but not unkind. "It doesn't matter to me that you're a woman. If you hurt my little Hinata with these games of yours, you're going to answer to me. Either step up, Sakura, or step down. The choices is yours, but you need to make one."

Even as Kurenai said it, she felt empty, because Hinata wasn't so little anymore, and that was entirely the problem. This wasn't just a crush, and what Hinata craved was far deeper than it had even been before.


	19. Chapter 19

**Face Forward  
Chapter 19**

She had to do something, didn't she?

More importantly, she had to do the right thing. The thing that made her swallow back every ounce of pride she thought she had. Swallow it down until it kicked her in the teeth. So, back against the wall, Sakura did the only thing she could do. She ran to her own sensei. Spilling her very soul as she knew it, because in the end, Sakura's brain and heart were at war, and Tsunade was one of the few she could trust.

The blonde sat quietly behind her desk, partially stunned, partially amused, and even just a little worried too. "Sakura…" Tsunade began ever so slowly, realizing that her student was clearly not okay with the revelations that had just been disclosed. "Sakura?"

"What?" Sakura hedged with hesitancy.

"Don't look at me like that." Tsunade sighed. "I hate seeing you so upset." She was one of the best medical ninja that the shinobi would had to offer, and though she was occasionally judgmental, she wasn't entirely stupid. "If you love her, there's no harm in that."

"You don't have to lie to me." Sakura murmured, a defense so strong it was rock solid, and thusly, that easy to crumble under it's own weight.

"I'm not. Sakura, you asked me to be honest." Tsunade pointed out with a voice that was as care free as ever. Chair creaking as she leaned back, to regard her student. Sakura was a wonderful pupil, perhaps too wonderful. Even picking up lesser qualities that Tsunade hated within herself and endeavored to hide. "You can, and should, act on those feelings."

"But…what about her clan…"

"What about your happiness?" Tsunade returned.

"My happiness..." Sakura tasted those words, before refuting them. "No, sensei, it's not that easy."

"Listen, Sakura, you can choose to live by the expectations of others, or you can choose to live by the standards you set for yourself. Either way, you'll still be living life, and there will still be unpleasant circumstances. What you need to decide is simple." The elder sipped her sake and sighed. "Will you live the way you want to live? Or will you live in a way you don't want? Happiness, or unhappiness. The choices are truly that simple. Everything else will fall into place, like it or not."

"I don't like it." Sakura muttered with a nervousness that was unlike her. "Thinking like that…I've got too much to loose this time."

"What is it that you think you're going to lose?" Tsunade asked her then.

"Her…eventually…"

Tsunade had expected every number of excuses, but that one floored her. "Why do you think that?"

"It's just the way things are." Sakura's words held no malice or hate, and lacked even sadness. "I lose people I care about, that's just what my life's going to be like. I could tolerate loosing Sasuke, but her?" Sakura let out a self-hating laugh. "What do I do then? Find another woman, fill another void? I don't think I can really do that. It's not how my…relationship with her works."

"It doesn't seem to be working at all by the looks of it." Tsunade wisely pulled out one more cup, and another little white bottle of her beloved beverage. She poured only a little into Sakura's, and offered it to her student.

"I'm too young to be drinking…" Sakura admonished.

"You're too young for a lot of things, Sakura, but you've been forced to have the responsibilities of an adult. Now, it seems like you're heart's been shaping that way too." She sipped from her own cup, and poured herself another. "If you're going to be in my shadow, that's fine…but then don't go repeating my mistakes."

"The pervert ninja…" Sakura didn't even have to guess, but her sensei nodded anyway. She reached for the cup left on the desk for her and sipped it. "But why?"

"I felt like he was all I had left, and at the time he was." Tsunade shrugged. That was well over twenty years ago now. Water under the bridge. "He was a good man. I should have given him a proper chance back then, before the both of us moved our separate ways." Refilling Sakura's cup, she offered the only piece of advice she knew to give, and it wasn't much. "Hinata's a good woman. I think you two stand a good chance, but you'd have to give her one."

Sakura knew it was true.

She would have to give Hinata a chance. She would have to care for the woman, prove a point, if she really wanted to keep things between them going.

As time had taught her, love was like a spark. Something that needed to be held onto, pursued, and protected. Sakura hadn't done any of that. Not as much as she should have. Now because of it, she faced the grim reality that Hinata was still waiting for some kind of answer.

The sake she drank was full of old memories. Sakura soon discovered that after her third cup, her mind aching. Drinking had been a bad idea, it made her feel weepy, and worthless. Her thoughts were so many places at once, and all of those places included Hinata. Sasuke's shadow had left damage on Sakura's beating heart. On the kind of relationships she chose to have, and she knew it. She was okay with it…but Hinata promised so much more in her kisses, in her voice, and even that slight blush of hers.

Hinata spoke all of the things Sakura had always wanted to hear, and shared that same, heady, desire. Hinata was the future that Sakura feared she couldn't live up to. It was all so much to take in. Too much, and though Sakura was scared, and maybe not even in her right mind, she realized she was still thinking clearly. Sake or no sake, her desire to see Hinata was entirely her own. Had been her own since before spilling her soul earlier in Tsunade's office. It wasn't the drinks she'd had spurring her on, but her teacher's words…and the things she wanted to say.

The ones she needed to.

Logically Sakura was able to hold herself back. That's how she knew what she wanted, because she didn't want Hinata to see her like this either. On the verge of tears, unkempt and reeking of the sake she drank. She went back home that night to an empty bed once more. She didn't relish it, didn't enjoy the cool pillow or the loneliness of the room, but then at least she knew.

She wanted to be with Hinata. Needed to be with her, because the darkness was simply too cold to endure alone. Too unsettling, too unpleasant.

It wasn't until morning that Sakura had found a way to say the words that had been stuck in her head, and finding Hinata alone training in the forest had only solidified the damage Sakura had done. That cold Hyuga gaze was fixated on her, and it wasn't relief that colored her expression.

"I'm sorry…" Sakura murmured amidst the singing birds.

Hinata said nothing to this, though the famed Byakugan receded back into hiding. Her back turned though, and she began to fire kunai one by one into a wooden target hidden amongst the trees.

"This whole thing…" Sakura began slowly, leaning on the bark of a nearby tree. "I wasn't thinking about it back then, it just felt right. Maybe, it felt too right." She sighed, hard, a curse weaving into her breath. "It still does. I don't want it too, but I can't bury it. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Perhaps it would be best if we simply forgot the matter entirely." Hinata offered with a cool lilt in her voice. "Perhaps you aren't wrong."

Sakura had caused that cool lilt, that icy aggravation, and that cold exterior. She forced this normally warm woman, so soft and caring to be this way, and she hated herself for it. "I am. I've got to be wrong...or, if I'm not wrong then I really don't want to be right anymore." Sakura forced a harsh breath from her lips. "I don't want to forget either."

"Then what do you want from me?" There was heat in that ice now.

"Well, I guess that's the other problem." Sakura shrugged. "To be with you. Beyond that, I just...don't know."

"And that's the issue full circle." Desperation clawing the edges of her voice, and Hinata whirled around. "Tell me what you want from me, and I would gladly comply. You do understand that, don't you?" The rest of the Kunai fell into the dirt patch by her feet as she took a few steps forward, hesitant urgency driving her forward with a mix of fear and sadness. "That I would do anything." Hope a lost little light in the fractured space that stood between them. "I mean that, Sakura, truly."

"I'm crazy obsessive you know…"

"I don't mind that."

"And I'm a total flake…"

"You are not."

"I am."

"You shouldn't insult yourself."

"It's not an insult, it's the truth." Those colorless orbs met deep green, and Sakura cursed again. Her chest felt too tight for her own good. "I know I am."

"Sakura, don't say things like that when you know it bothers me." Hinata said again. "You have conviction too, I've seen it."

"Look, I'm just not cut out to be like the rest of our peers. I have nothing to offer your clan, and I'm not a ninja with enough merit to be noticed. I'm not a guy either, thank god, but that's another strike. Don't you get it? You're better than this…and we shouldn't have gotten so attached, because in my screwed up little head, I know I don't stand a chance!"

Hinata absorbed this, but Sakura wasn't done.

"Naruto's a good guy, and he'd treat you right. You have a chance to have a great boyfriend, maybe even a great husband. I know with Sasuke, I'm getting into a hard future, a hard life. I'm okay with that, I can deal with that…but don't you see? If you stick with me, that's what you'll be getting too. A hard life full of things you can't have, because I can't give them to you. I'm not worth that Hinata, I'm really not."

"Your worth to me isn't quantified by those things." Though, Hinata had to admit some validation in everything Sakura said, Hinata had never imagined her life to be an easy one. She had expected a difficult uphill climb to whatever goal she perused. "It's all so moot. Break it all down, and none of that really holds any weight between us unless we let it, Sakura."

"Part of it should be, at least some concern." Sakura huffed.

"I love you Sakura, I would go to nearly any length to prove that to you."

"We can't."

"Yes…we can." Maybe it was that flicker of absolute loss in Sakura's eyes, but something between them shifted the moment had said those words. Something that moved Hinata forward with speed as she took Sakura into a crushing and yet strangely gentle embrace. They'd kissed in this forest so many times that Hinata had lost count, and one more wasn't going to hurt.

Not anymore than they both already were, and that one small gesture, that one tiny affirmation, was exactly what they both needed


	20. Chapter 20

**Face Forward  
Chapter 20**

Several years later had only led the lovers to one conclusion…

Love was an odd thing, boring and routine mostly, when things finally settled into being comfortable. Passion ebbed slightly, Sakura noted. Several years of loving this woman that warmed her bed did nothing to stop her from wanting to make love with Hinata. However, the occurrence was not as sought after as it once was. Kisses that were once hidden from the world out of fear, was now just something they did so often the craving for such a thing was also marginal.

Yet, strangely enough, it was still so warm...so comforting, and soothing to the senses.

Everything about their relationship seemed to be that way...well, more or less. Then again, that was how it started too, back when they were young. A passion made out of mutual comfort. This aspect never changed. They were normally calm, and enjoyed quiet nights in, more often than not.

The only exception was when they fought, because Hinata's silence was deafening, and Sakura's temper was explosive. Both of their tempers were equally vicious when left to their own fears, and their minds were prone to playing tricks on them. Their friends and family knew well enough to stay away from the women during a feud, least they provoke Hinata's silent rage, or Sakura's violent ire.

Today was a mission day, and it seemed to be the selfsame as any other deployment afternoon. Hinata and Sakura were once again in a dispute that would have others cowering in fear.

"I'm taking this mission." Hinata gently asserted, unwilling to be taken off the roster. "It's only three weeks."

"Plenty of time to invite something to go wrong." Sakura pressed, still on shift at the hospital, and crabbier than she wanted to admit. This new information just made her day that much worse. "Tell our esteemed Hokage to eat shit...I don't want you going."

"But I am going to go, Sakura." Hinata pressed once again, her mind made up. "It's a tracking mission, my specialty."

"I've seen you come back after those stupid things. You're ANBU now, and don't tell me that you forgot about the last time you came back to the village. Skewered with poison needles. Fifty of them to be exact." Sakura had been in a livid rage that day, and those images cropped up in her head. "Broken bones, eye strain, you run the gambit on those missions, and it's about time you took a desk job."

"I don't want a desk job." Hinata rebuked.

"Tell Naruto you need something less intensive then." Sakura shot back icily. "A-ranks, fine, I'll cope. This is your third S-rank this year, and I'm sick of the fact that you haven't been home as much as you should be."

"I like S-ranks, and besides, the village is too suffocating." Hinata shot back. She wouldn't budge on this. That she had her mask on only pissed Sakura off more, and Hinata knew it. "I'll be with Kakashi and Shino, and you know they would never let anything bad happen."

"Why do you think I want you staying here?" Sakura hissed. "You're twice as bad as Kakashi is about getting hurt, and there's not a medic on your team!"

"I am the medic."

"I mean a _real_ one!" Sakura bellowed, causing anyone who happened to be passing by to flee as soon as possible. "Where's Hana Inuzuka, or Ino, Tenten, Shizune, someone!?"

"All of them are busy." Hinata fought back the urge to stammer. "I'm confident in my abilities."

"Until Kakashi guts himself on a kunai!"

"Sakura..."

"You know how he is, Hinata! You've brought him back alive a few times, but he's getting older." Sakura slapped a hand to her face, her next words muffled by her palm. "I'm going to give Naruto a piece of my mind." She said as she moved beyond the door. The Hokage, new to the job perhaps, was still going to be dead meat.

"Oh, now Sakura, you'll do no such thing…" At least she hoped Sakura wouldn't as she wrapped her arms around her particularly strong lover. "Please say you won't. Kakashi likes ANBU work. He's very good at surveillance jobs."

Sakura, turned in her lover's embrace and pulled off that infuriating wooden mask. "I'm well aware of his impressive abilities, but you…" Sakura was stronger, and she turned the tables, pining Hinata to her desk, the white lab coat Sakura had on covering the both of them. "You're playing a dangerous game. What, do S-rank missions get a rise out of you? Am I not enough anymore?"

Hinata just smiled at Sakura's foolishness, leaning up to kiss her. It was deep, and long, the softness of it drawing out a sigh that was as much flustered as it was aroused. It was toe-curling, and if they were anywhere else, Hinata would have gone further in the moment, but as it was, she settled for slipping her hands under Sakura's shirt and settling themselves at the small of her back. She would have just enjoyed that warmth she felt all day, taking in Sakura's scent, and her touch.

Alas, she didn't have time, and she regrettably made a motion to get up and compose herself.

"Two weeks, I promise." Hinata said then, as gently as she could.

"So I'll see you next month then, if I'm lucky." Sakura muttered, nearly doubling the time. She knew how these sorts of missions went. There was always a chance for prolonged extensions that lasted weeks or more. "Swear to me this'll be the last one of the year for you. That you'll tell Naruto you're over worked."

"If I say that, I might not be able to keep my promise."

"Then lie to me, just once."

Hinata refused to do that, holding Sakura close before slipping on her mask once more. "I'll write often to keep in touch."

It wasn't a battle Sakura could win. Since the ANBU handled missions that were top priority village matters, she had to watch Hinata journey off. Extra shifts at the hospital would ebb away the time, but, it wouldn't lessen Sakura's anxiety. Even so, she exited her office to see the same Hyuga guard waiting to escort her home.

It was merely a token gesture from the Hyuga clan. Less about protection, and more about the clan politics, most of which Sakura still didn't understand because she was never given the reasons. Hinata was happy not to complicate Sakura's life with those messy rules, regulations, and fighting amongst blood relatives. Sakura, for her part, had learned to stop asking. Sakura suspected that Hinata was placed under several clan related gag orders...but Hinata had never said the truth of that fact one way or the other.

Purse in hand, she greeting the awaiting guard. The two began heading for the small apartment not far away from the Hyuga clan's premises. The walk was silent as always, and just a twinge uncomfortable, although the reason why was obvious. Hiashi Hyuga was not a man for small talk, and he was not enthused that his daughter saw fit to lay with a woman...and not just any woman, but one that wasn't even a blue blood.

He was not the man of power he used to be, though, and orders were orders. He would see them through if only to uphold his honor, and highly regarded respect among the clan. "You should not dress yourself in such indecorous attire." He said, the small waft of blood touching his nose. "It's ill-befitting."

"Better get used to it." she bit out. "I'm a medic, and like it or not, that's not exactly clean work."

"Surely..." Hiashi agreed. "Honorable though."

She took the small reach for civility for what it was, and nodded. the silent truce made between them for the walk home. "This is going to be inconvenient if you escort me every night." Sakura told him. "Hinata's going to be gone for a long time."

"I will not have it said that I failed in my duties." The man replied as coolly as ever. "When the head of the clan speaks, all must obey."

"Hanabi is reasonable though." Sakura pointed out, having gotten to know the girl quite well.

"Your lack of reverence is disgusting." Hiashi sneered.

"I'm not a Hyuga."

"Indeed, you are not."

Sakura had been grudgingly accepted among the Hyuga as Hinata's flight of fancy, but no one believed they would last. As the years had trickled by, that suspicion dwindled, and so with it, the disapproval of the council. They began to realize Hinata wouldn't be easily swayed, and when Hanabi took authority, she permitted Hinata leave from the clan willingly so long as she remained in service to the compounded, retaining all of her expected duties.

As such, when they arrived to the small apartment that belonged to Sakura and Hinata, Hiashi once again considered that the sparse dwelling was unfit for his eldest daughter. It was too small, too unkempt. Hinata had refused to hire a cleaning lady, and both women kept odd hours. There were dirty dishes in the sink, and a thin layer of dust on the windowsill. He found it appalling, but kept that to himself. This was the life his daughter claimed made her happy, and he would never understand why.

To him, it was all so lackluster. His task done, he left to go back to his home with hardly a goodbye.

Sakura watched him go with the same quiet acceptance that she had learned from Hinata. When it came to the man, it was the best she could do. A younger version of herself would have been outraged. She probably would have struck at him verbally, maybe even picked a fight with him. Age, perspective, had changed that. As it was, she merely took his disgust with mild disinterest.

As powerful as the Hyuga were, so long as Hanabi retained her position, there was nothing he, or any of the elders could say about Sakura. For now she was safe to live Hinata as she wanted, the rest of the clan be damned...

However, that small parting comfort aside, Sakura wouldn't rest easy until Hinata was home.

…

Acceptance, a strange word when one came to think of it, was something so freely given at the end of the day.

Ninja live fleeting lives. That was a lesson that Hinata was taught over, and over, and over again. Every single mission. Even the one she had newly returned on, battered, bleeding, and clinging on to the very thread of life itself. If life is that precious, happiness was even more so...and her friends, her family, wanted her to be happy, even if nothing else. Time and time again, they proved that.

It was in the way that many worried about her as she slipped in and out of consciousness. It was in the curses she could hear bellowed down the hall, across the corridors, and even in the strong arms that had carried her back to the village as an injured party. It was in the way Kakashi lay next to her, no better, and sharing in the bitter smirk that graced Hinata's features.

Something she learned from him.

It was in the way they were kept in the same room because Sakura couldn't be both places at once, but she knew she had to be. Even when exhaustion kicked in, and Sakura fell asleep in the chair, refusing to leave her lover's side, or relinquish Kakashi to someone else's care. Further, it was in the way that Ino dressed their wounds, and Naruto made sure that they had good meals from any street vendor they wanted.

That spoke of something too, when the Hokage himself was doing the work of a probationary genin out of worry for his friends.

And though Kurenai never spoke deeply on the matter, the sigh that drifted from her lips was enough to tell Hinata that it had been a close call. The cold cloth, and hints of dried blood were proof enough. Kurenai's worried glances hammered the truth home. So, when Hinata ran her fingers through pink tresses to soothe both herself, and the woman who was twitching in her sleep, she knew there wasn't an ounce of judgement to be found among them.

"That was my last mission as an ANBU operative." Her words were so quiet, but Naruto and the others were able to hear. "I can't do this to her again."

Naruto bit his lip, eyes squinting as he took in the severity of that statement. This time, it was too close a call. Too risky, and he nodded. "No, you can't."

"I want a genin team." She said then, as if somehow that would make amends for yet another Hyuga releasing themselves from the ANBU. She cared about Naruto too much to die in front of him, or because of him. "Give me that at least."

Naruto nodded, and that wonderful word, something she never thought she'd have...acceptance...entered her life once more.

Acceptance. It was strange word, but powerful.

...

With chakra depleted, it sometimes took a woman of Sakura's caliber a few hours to wake, and Hinata waited for her to do so. It came as no surprise that Sakura woke with a start. Her eyes growing wide as her memories took her back to what made her pass out on the first place. She felt that warm hand still tangled in her hair, and that small hint of comfort boiled away as soon as her eyes glimpsed the distance of the room.

"Kakashi?" The man had practically been gutted last she saw him. When his bed across the room was empty, what else was she to think?

"He's fine." Hinata murmured, guiding Sakura to look at her. As soon as she caught on to what exactly was running through the medic's mind, she tried to quell it. "He's fine, I'm fine, and you can rest now."

"You promised me that you'd be careful." Sakura said, her voice as uneven as it tended to be when Hinata managed to upset her. It wasn't anger that shook it, but outright fear. A terror that still lingered.

"We were careful."

"Six!" Sakura hissed hotly. "Do you know the significance of that number?"

Hinata tried to think of why that number seemed important. She didn't have a clue.

"Shit." Sakura cursed, as she lifted a hand to Hinata's chest, her palm falling over a spot where bandages covered swollen skin. "If you weren't already so injured, I'd slap the absolute shit out of you." That her fingers had clenched dangerously around the fabric of Hinata's gown was no consequence at the point. "You're both idiots, you and Kakashi."

Six more centimeters, and the gash over her chest would have been right over her heart. It made sense now, and guiltily, Hinata sucked in a breath as she let her fingers shakily run along Sakura's arm, yanking her into her lap. Hinata hissed at the force of her own strength, and the weight of Sakura pressing into her ribs. Sakura hissed too, but for an entirely different reason as she bit the tip of her tongue. Stifling anything else she wanted to say.

Hinata was more than just a little injured, and Sakura knew this wasn't conducive to any sort of recovery as she remained very still.

"I'm sorry." Hinata murmured. That soft and tender apology was something so usual now. "It won't happen again." Almost as routine as the ANBU's hospital stays themselves. The way it slid past Sakura's ear was new though. That hot breath a soothing reminder that Hinata was in fact alive and well…for the most part. "I'm resigning from ANBU active duty…I promise, Sakura, I won't take any more of those S-ranks again…"


End file.
